My name is Jeremy and I saw it first hand. he was purple and felt stupid to the touch, it was like he was made of hardened fish. let me start from the beginning. it was forveday a few weeks ago, me and a few friends were hanging out when the radio miraculously turned on. we all though nothing of it, because we're stupid. on the radio it said (I'm paraphrasing here) "I'm really hungry for some mmmmilk", we all jumped when the radio said that.
after a few seconds the radio turned off again, and being as scared as we were, my friends began stabbing it with nearby ladders. after a few years we finished stabbing the radio, and prepared to defend ourselves from jimbob the killer, but then the door opened because my poor friend could not afford doors, and there was no door anywhere on the universe. then we saw a strange figure that flipped through the windows, and we started swinging our tuna casserole in the direction of my computer in order to create a magical diabetes.
but the diabetes was only slightly magical, and hyper realistic. and I was sad because i ate too much water on forveday. but just then jimbob had been there for 5 hours and he pulled out his trusty nuclear warhead and threw it at me and my friends
we're died now.
thanks for the waffles!
RIP Jeremy 1999 - 666